Heat Problem

Today I will address Carrie's and my first and largest disagreement as a married couple.

This is a problem that we may need to see a marriage counselor about as we just cannot seem to reach an agreement on and neither one of us has been willing to compromise. The number one issue is who controls the thermostat.

Now typically, guys are warm and women are cold, am I wrong? In our case it is opposite. I don't know why, but since I was little, my body temperature is always unbelievably cool. I believe this is due to poor blood circulation. In any case, I did not realize when I signed the marriage license, that Carrie's blood circulation must be really...strong? Is that the right word? Anyway, she is never cold. I have developed a couple of theories as to why this is the case.

One theory is that she was born on some other planet such as Mars or Jupiter. This is why she gets so warm, because ever since she transported to earth somehow (I'm still trying to figure out how, trying to locate a UFO of some sort, or sneak up on her when she isn't expecting it in hopes of intercepting a conversation between her and other extraterrestrials), she naturally would be warm being several millions of miles closer to the sun. She would have had to have been raised in cooler climates because that would explain why she is having difficulties adjusting to planet earth. This would also explain her "out of this world" beauty she possesses. ;)

My other theory is that she is part human and part penguin. This would explain a lot. Look at the similarities. Penguins are terrific swimmers. Carrie is a terrific swimmer. Penguins feed off of krill and fish and such. Carrie enjoys seafood. Penguins don't have many predators just sea lions. Carrie's predators are mice, snakes, things that scare her, green cars, and, you guessed it, sea lions. Penguins can't fly. Carrie can't fly. Penguins waddle. Carrie...well...I guess the comparison stops there. At any rate, if she was part penguin, she would never be cold because look at penguins, they waddle around in the snow all day and never get cold. I think this is the stronger of my two theories.

Usually we have two fans going in our apartment, along with the air conditioning, along with the heat on full blast, and sometimes she cracks a window also. A waist of energy you say? We call it a compromise. When I get up in the morning, due to the fact that heat rises it has actually gotten pretty comical how in my walk from the bed to the shower, I will notice my face sweating and my feet freezing.

I guess you could say I was forewarned about this. After all, from the from the first day I laid eyes on her, I knew that she was extremely hot.